Confession

I just received a lovely compliment from a dear friend about how good/thin I am looking. It was especially well-received because she is one of those women who is blessed with long and lean features and always looks gorgeous! In case anyone else sees me or recent pictures of me and thinks a kind thought about my current size... I think I need to be totally honest on how I got here.

You can refer back to a post I did back in Sept/Oct about my weight loss to catch part of the story. Here is my complete summary to answer her and anyone else's questions.

I had Thomas in June and then started exercising and trying to eat healthier when he was 6 weeks old, roughly the beginning of August. I really focused on it because, having never really exercised before having kids, it took me a long time to lose weight after Maybrie and I never really reached a size I was happy with. I gave myself points for the good exercise and eating habits going on, and some weeks managed to exercise almost everyday and abstain from sweets all together. I really got the habit to stick. It was great! But, one must also realize that aside from taking care of my kids, keeping my house in order, and exercising... I didn't do a whole lot.

Sometime near the end of September as we were packing and moving things began to take a turn for the worse. Postpartum depression was setting in, and within a few weeks I was really sick. I was feeling major anxiety and waking each morning with (to sum up grotesque symptoms) stomach flu. I still exercised a little until I reached the point of feeling too sick and week that I simply did not have the energy, nor did I think it healthy. I began dropping weight like crazy. The few nutrients I was able to force into my body seemed to go directly to Thomas through breastfeeding.

Thankfully I found some great doctors here and was able, through some rough trial and error, find medication that helped even me out, so to speak. I have been feeling MUCH better and like myself again since probably Thanksgiving. Brian kept telling me that my weight loss would be the silver lining when I came out of my hard fall into depression. He was right. I managed to fit into my box of "skinny" clothes that I wore when we first met and got married. Something I honestly wasn't sure would be possible again after having kids.

While I have lost a lot of weight and inches overall, the biggest area is in my legs. I am actually now shrinking out of my size 6 "skinny" jeans. On our anniversary just before Christmas we went to the Gap outlet and I was absolutely stunned to find the pants that now fit correctly are size 4! Brian kindly bought me my first pair of skinny jeans, in size 4, for Christmas. I am getting back into exercising and have managed to workout a few times a week for several weeks now. It feels good. I also find that my body likes me a lot more when I stay away from the sweets. I try to keep them out of the house, or at least in a cupboard out of sight. This has been harder with the holidays and birthdays, in which cases I can usually get by limiting myself to one serving a day, usually dessert after dinner.

So you ask how I lost all the weight? The truth is part of the credit goes to me and dedication to diet and exercise, and the other part goes to my undesirable depression. I would recommend the first method over the latter. And even though I am pleased with the way I look right now, I have mixed feelings when I get a compliment and am sometimes unsure how to respond. I think I will just graciously say thank you. I think that making it through my postpartum depression was as much work as exercise and eating healthier. So, I suppose I will accept any pats on the back I receive! And THANKS to those who have shared kind comments on the way I look outwardly right now, and does a lot to improve the way I look at myself inwardly too!